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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Baby vs Scalp Massager

Ever wonder how I react with someone attacks me with a scalp massager??

Thursday, December 20, 2012


This is the problem with having a blog. I know I should, I know I want to, but I also know that in the midst of my procrastinating I just plum forget.  ;)

Oh blogspot, I owe you one!

Project X: divide and conquer!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

America and my Kids

I'll be damned if my children have to deal with the sins of our fathers.

Due to the incompetence that has flooded our Federal Government my children have to not only live with being banned from U.S. National Parks, but a crazily underfunded educational system.

Why does America want to keep their people stupid?

Our focus should be molding the minds of new leaders that will greatly surpass our generation.
Make the minds of our future our greatest export.

Monday, February 21, 2011

COSTCO vs SAM'S CLUB and things of that nature

Here's the deal:

I have a Costco membership. Because of this  it may seem as though I access to a wondrous  world of endless possibilities but let's face it, those possibilities can only go so far. This is why I am extending my hand out to those of you who live in my area that are Sam's Club members.

With our powers combined we could rule the world. Let me know if you're interested in a shopping trip.

Now, I'm not only limiting my powers to those who are living near me- if you are a coupon collector such as myself and have found yourself with too many coupons you don't know what to do with (such as myself) then I'm proposing a coupon exchange.

It's easy- all ya gotta do is email/ message me  what you're looking for and if I have it I'll be glad to send it out.

This is helpful for those a variety of people:
- large families
-people with diet restrictions
-needing specific products/brands
-those stocking up on household supplies
-cleaning supplies
-private/light catering
-people who are looking to host a particular party and don't want to purchase in unnecessary bulk
..and other things of that nature.

Think of it folks, the possibilities are endless :)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Updated Resolutions: Activities for Kids

I have found that it is easy to make an every day chore in to a fun-filled learning activity for a four year old.  

Something so simple such as folding the laundry has turned into a game of retail store in which we neatly fold the clothes and place them on display in our rooms for customers. Just the other day we made a game out of shoveling a rock pile from the front yard in order to  level out the front a bit better. As we "played" in the rock pile she was rewarded with picking a few rocks out that we would be able to keep. 

Unfortunately each and every one of the "games"  I came up with were short-lived.  Although she's four, my daughter is a skill-full player the constant game of life we have going on. About three minutes into playing store she got up, declared herself manager and took off for a "coffee break".

When it came to shoveling the rocks, I fastened a brand new shovel of her very own out of an old juice carton  so that she could "play" but instead she took it upon herself to inspect the rocks. A little while later I noticed that I had spilled rocks onto the sidewalk. Excited about my new found discovery, I told her that I had I noticed some of the rocks "trying to escape" the yard. As  I called for her help to gather them she calmly explained to me that the rock swere merely trying to get a bit of fresh air outside of the gate. 

Again, I enjoy changing these every day chores into fun-filled learning experiences for my four year old; it's just her perception that we need to tweak.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Project: Sugar Wax to save money

"Jess, of course it will hurt, you're ripping your hair out. But it should be a bit more painless than having someone else do it. Plus it's way cheaper."

"Are you sure it works?"

"It's what I use..."

Saving money,  while attempting to feel somewhat more like a female is right up my alley. Naturally I jumped at the chance to heat up a batch and try it myself. I researched it over and over to see what techniques might work a bit better for me. I even went out to purchase a small amount of denim just in case I needed backup strips.

Night one: Fail. The concoction wasn't heated to the proper temperature.
Night two: Fail. Although the viscosity of the concoction passed  the "ball and rip" technique did not.
Night three: Fail. Purchased the denim strips, applied and ripped. Pain passed, hair removal did not.

And now I am stuck with a useless pile of denim strips, a bowl of sticky brown goo, four red welts on my shins, a curious four year old asking why I "like the sticky" and one razor burn from when I eventually gave up, showered and shaved.

To my friend:

Meg, you got me. April fools! ..or whatever sinister plan you had brewing in your gut.

To Whoever came up with the sugar wax prank:

You are indeed cruel, mean-hearted, hate-filled and genius.

Project: Learn to knit/crochet/sew (maaybe)..

From this moment forward I will never take the every day clothes I wear for granted.

I've never been one to scoff at someone's hard work and/or craftsmanship but at the same time I also have never taken into consideration the amount of time, concentration and in general how nimble your fingers have to be in order to sew/crochet/knit! You crafty seamstresses are hard core, and my hat's off to you!

Growing up with high levels of undetected attention deficit disorder I never had the time nor the patience to sit and learn an actual project (especially when it came down to school). At the age of  nine  my grandmother taught me the basic chain stitch for crocheting. I thought I was the absolute "bee's knees".  I would crochet the longest single chains ever seen! When she tried to sit me down to show me the next step, I declined. I felt like I was a-okay with making single braided strands into long thin rope.   Little did I know that the amount of yarn I was wasting would one day want to be turned into a scarf.

Today I took my four year old to the craft store (which I highly do not recommend if you've been depriving yourself of crafty projects- it's as dangerous as going to the supermarket while hungry). The moment I entered the store it was like the heavens opening a whole new world of possibilities for me.

"I could make this...'so-and-so' has a birthday coming up.. we can create worlds! much cheaper than..." all of these thoughts raced through my head.

I stopped by the yarn section. Flashbacks of being wrapped in long thin strands of crocheted chains with gigantic smiles on my face flooded my memory. My childhood was merry but at the same time could have been a bit more if I had applied myself to finishing real projects.  

"How ridiculous did I look?!" I thought to myself.   "If I want Emily to ever complete a project, I should start with leading by example. I should expand on my very basic knowledge of crocheting. I'll make a scarf for her."

So, with a very special yarn she had picked out, the correct needle size and one of the items we went in  to purchase we headed toward the car. (Due to the ADD we had to run back in to purchase the other item I had forgotten we initially went in for.)

After a very vigorous cleanup of our classroom at home we sat down to start on our craft project. I began my chain. Like riding a bicycle, I remembered and picked it up easily. Then came time to start a new row. I picked up the instructions and at that moment realized I was in for more than what I had bargained for.  

"Yarn over hook? The yarn is all over the hook!" anxious thoughts poured through my head  "Stitch upward? Loop into what? Why is it starting to look so small? Oh no, wrong size! Cruh-"

"How are you doing mom?" Emily interrupted "Oh mom, it's beeautiful!"

Trying to play it cool I smiled and slyly replied.

 "Because it's such a new project I'll make Betty's first for practice, then yours."

She smiled and nodded with content then went back to her project.

Coming from Miss Super Snob herself, to you all who know how to be crafty- you are all rock stars! It's something that really needs to be taught. In the meantime I will not give up on Emily's scarf.

(..oh and thank goodness for two children.)